Nov 9, 2014

Preparing For Greyson

The weeks are flying by and it's really starting to sink in that in a month or so I'm going to be a mama to TWO BOYS. Slllightly freaking out a little bit here. My mom thinks I won't make it past the first week of December bc I'm so huge (Thanks Mother. #typicalbluntAsianmom). I feel like I've forgotten how to take care of a newborn. So little, so squishy. I'm used to my rough and rowdy wild child that I'm more anxious about myself than how C will react to his brother. Is it really like riding a bike? REALLY? I haven't done anything since we're going to have so much going on with the move. I've washed some clothes and that's about it! It's true, 2nd child syndrome is a real thing.

This pregnancy has been completely different from my first. Caden didn't really give me a hard time outside of migraines, but this baby has been kicking my butt, literally. Compounded by an active toddler, my body is ready to shut down. Everywhere aches, I'm beyond exhausted, and I feel like my belly button will just burst open. The doctor says I'm measuring on the bigger side for how far along I am and he will probably be bigger than Caden. OH YAY. I feel kind of bad; little dude is probably so squished up in there. Somedays I feel like he's trying to kick his way out. Regardless of how crappy I'm feeling, I muster up all the energy I can to make our weekends and 1 on 1 time with big brother worthwhile before he's no longer my only child.

It's going to be a monumentally stressful time for me with the move, the adjustment of another dependent little human, the parentals all up in the mix, and the hormones, oh gawd, the hormones...I can already feel the beginnings of a melt down and mommy guilt building up in my toes, but I'm trying extra hard to take it all in stride. But deep down, I'M TERRIFIED people. I've already told the husband to have a plate of sushi ready for me to inhale at the hospital after delivery and if he knows what's good for him, he better remember! At least we're more fortunate this time around in that D's able to take 6 weeks off for paternity leave instead of just one with Caden. He'll be able to spend a lot of time with C and take a lot of my plate with the mounting list of things to do for the move.

Caden is not only ridiculously spoiled with our time and affection, but with his grandparents, I worry so much about how he'll feel. We've done all the books, the constant reminders that this is "his baby" to get him ready for Greyson. All signs are pointing to a sucessful transition so far, but I've probably just jixed myself  by typing that and putting it out there in the universe. Lately, he's been talking and playing with a teddy bear he has and you guys, it's so adorable. He shares his cars (unheard of), reads his books and sings w/ Teddy. However, D and I overheard him saying "Do you want a spanking Teddy?" the other day and we completely lost it. I guess Teddy wasn't listening and being a bad bear. :)

A lot of moms have told me that they just can't believe how much their hearts have expanded to love another child after their first and I guess it's something I'll just have to wait to experience. We've been so so blessed to have such a happy go lucky, confident, funny, handsome little guy I just can't imagine having another kid completely steal my heart as much as this one.

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