Christmas Present Pretzels

I can't bake.

I am unable to mix together simple ingredients, stick it in the oven, and make it edible. I've manage to mess up boxed brownie mix. True story. I swear I follow the directions to the T, but something ALWAYS happens. I blame it on my oven. That thing needs to be calibrated or something.

I baked a strawberry cake once for the husband....and it ended up looking like this: Someone asked me why I topped it off with condensed milk and peaches.

When I had C, I envisioned myself being super PTA mom, baking cookies and treats for the kids. I know my skills are severly lacking, but I'm determined to bake some decent chocolate chip cookies by the time C is in kindergarten. There is this one guy at work, whose mama makes amazing baked everything. People seriously almost knuckle up for some of her cookies and peanut brittle. Maybe I can work out an apprenticeship w/ her! LOL.

Anyway, I tried to make something easy for C's class as a treat for the last day of school before Christmas break. I found this cute treat on Pinterest, and thought to myself, "this looks easy! small steps, it's just melting chocolate and sticking an M&M on top!"

 

Lies!!!! I couldn't get those damn Hershey Hugs to melt. 30 minutes in the oven, and those damn things were pointy as ever, mocking my chocolate melting abilities. Calibration totally neccessary right??

So I moved onto Plan B. Cute, right? All you need is a bag of pretzels, some melted chocolate, and M&M's split in half. I showed my coworkers, and they thought it looked like monster toes instead. *sigh*